How the act of showing up can take you to “mission accomplished”
Article written for BUT GOD MAGAZINE Winter 2023 Edition
It’s a gloomy December morning along the Pacific Ocean. The air temperature is cold. The water feels frigid as it laps against my bare feet. I am in a wetsuit designed for winter surfing, trying to convince myself that it’s not that cold. This will be my first ocean swim in December.
I’ve lived along the beach for over a dozen years and while I spend as much time as possible on the sand, I rarely go in the water. It’s cold, mirky, rough and uninviting. As a kid, I loved body surfing, but as an adult, I lost my taste for the white, foamy waves.
I had not learned how to swim properly which was a bigger reason to stay on shore, never mind the dark abyss, the fish and sharks, and the seaweed that tied me up.
A soft quiet voice called me from the ocean over the years. One I ignored. But God showed up. He wasn’t whispering in my ear, He was screaming loudly, commanding me to swim. The path was 2.2 miles from the Hermosa Beach Pier to Manhattan Beach Pier before my 50th birthday. I was excited, scared, nervous and wanted to quit before I started. Turning 50 was so exciting and this was the party he wanted us have.
I am created in his image; I can do all things through him.
I started doing laps in a twenty-five-yard pool, barely getting from one end to the other. It was rough, gasping for air, shocking on water, and battling motion sickness, made me feel frustrated, defeated, angry, and mostly angry that learning to swim was so difficult. Breathing, stroking, and kicking were far too complicated at the same time. Imagine a girl with two left feet clapping on one and three, trying to move gracefully through the water, ha! But God had put this in my heart. There was a lesson, growth, and humbling for me as I entered the next chapter of my life, so I continued showing up.
By the time I went to Dede, my swim instructor, I had survived multiple ugly ocean swims, but had not drowned, so there was hope. I reminded myself that God orders my steps, and this journey was based on obedience. Sometimes things make sense, and sometimes they don’t. But God doesn’t promise to reveal his plan, he promises that all things work for your good.
I didn’t know what to feel on D-Day. There were so many moments along the journey that stand out, like my first ocean swim with Jim and Veronica that took us over 2 hours to swim three quarters of a mile because I wouldn’t get out until I finished the route. Then there was my first solo swim around the buoy and pier, oh how I laughed and cried with elation because I had not died. Then there was my first solo pier to pier, I spent the entire time repeating every positive affirmation I knew while thanking God at every stroke. When I finished my official Pier to Pier, I was happy, grateful, proud, but mostly peaceful and serene. God performs small miracles like this every day, that go mostly unnoticed. This was also a miracle, one I will always honor and cherish.
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